


I'm With You

by TortiTabby



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, Family Feels, Family Planning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Surrogacy, They just really love each other okay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 14:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17448557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: There are options laid out for Dan and Phil to start their own family and they all come with their own strings attached.





	I'm With You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [huphilpuffs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/huphilpuffs/gifts).



> Thank you so much @astudyinfondness(Emmcat) for being my beta reader on this! I really appreciate you!!  
>   
> I wrote this for/from a prompt by @huphilpuffs  
> I hope you like it.  
>   
> Title from the song I'm With You by Vance Joy because I've just been really loving it lately and titles are hard lol.

Dan staggered throughout the flat looking for Phil. It was well past any kind of sane hour for either of them to be awake. Dan had been surprised by waking up alone in the lounge with a concerned ‘are you still watching’ that had popped up from Netflix on the television screen. 

It was odd. Phil wasn’t always the first to go to bed but more often than not, Dan was the one who snuck into their sheets at two in the morning, hoping he wouldn’t wake Phil up and get an earful from him. If Dan went to bed first, Phil followed shortly after.

It was nearing four in the morning and Phil was nowhere in sight. Light spilled out from under the gaming room door, giving Phil away.

“What are you doing?” Dan yawned as he pushed the door open.

Phil was slumped over in the chair fast asleep. His chin was digging into his chest and his usual peaceful sleeping face was replaced with a frown pinched in worry.

Dan crept over to him and rubbed his shoulders gently, careful not to wake him. One glance at the screen made Dan’s heart hurt. 

Phil’s heritage results along with Dan’s own were pulled up on the screen. There were tabs of surrogacy and adoption that lay unopened in the same window.

Dan sighed. It would be so much easier if they could just have a kid without any hurdles or second guessing or other obstacles that they had to face to do so. If only they could just decide that it was time to have a kid the way so many couples got to take for granted and eliminate the things that were preventing it. 

It was up in the air if they were going to have a baby who would have one of their genetics or adopt a child that was in need. 

There was no argument that adoption was an amazing, wonderful thing. There were so many children in the system who needed good families; it would be selfish to go another route.

Only Dan wanted to be selfish. He wanted them to be selfless because they wanted to be, not because it was one of two options and he picked the one with the moral high ground. 

He wanted a little boy with Phil’s bright blue eyes, or a little girl with wild coffee-colored curls that matched his own. This was their family. If there was ever a time to be selfish wasn’t this it? 

He knew that Phil was leaning in the same direction as Dan. Phil was battling his conscious that was whispering in his ear all about the sad and lonely children without families. 

“Philly, wake up.” Dan whispered in his ear and pressed a long kiss to his forehead as he blinked awake, confused.

“Wha—sorry I thought I’d be back before you fell asleep.” Phil rushed to explain.

“It’s alright, babe. Let’s just go to bed.” Dan helped Phil to his feet and stumbled into the bathroom with him. Once they were all freshened up and ready, Dan dragged him to bed.

Phil was fast asleep before his head hit the pillow and Dan was surprised to find himself following his lead. He barely managed to keep his eyes open long enough to cover the both of them up.

Warm arms tightened around Dan’s middle. Dyed black hair tickled Dan’s face and a soft puff of air moved his curls with a laugh. 

“Ticklish today?” Phil’s early morning voice was deep and gravely in Dan’s ear. 

It often lead them down a road that was one of Dan’s favorites to visit, but the events from the night before were still fresh on Dan’s mind and it was time for a discussion. They had put it off long enough.

“I want your baby.” He murmured and rolled over on top of Phil. He sat back on Phil’s thighs and stared down at him. It was the kind of conversation that Dan liked to have rehearsed but there was no time. It felt urgent that he told Phil this now, unscripted and without any second thought.

He held a finger up to Phil’s mouth as he opened it. “Let me finish. I want a little Lester. I want them to have Lester genes and your eyes and smile and nose and laugh.” Dan was surprised to find himself blinking back tears. 

“I want to see you when they laugh and smile or get angry and frustrated or annoyed with me. The next one can be from me. We know we want more than one and if we want more than two we can figure that out when we get there. There’s nothing that says we can’t adopt then if we really want to.” He pushed Phil’s quiff away from his brilliant blue eyes that were filling with tears of their own. 

“I refuse to feel bad about having a family with you in any way or shape it comes in. Fuck everyone else! I just _ — _ ”

“Dan. Breathe.” Phil reached up to brush away a tear that spilled over onto Dan’s cheek. 

“I wish we could just have a baby without thinking about it.” He sighed. It wasn’t a thought either of them were strangers to. “I have been thinking about it a lot and I want that too. I want a little Dan running around. I don’t think I will ever not feel bad about it. I wish it didn’t have to be so bittersweet.” He took a breath and looked away.

Dan laid down, putting his full weight on top of Phil. Dan breathed in the smell of Phil’s fruity shampoo and everything else that made him Phil. He smiled against his ear and moved to the side so they could look at each other in the eye.

“This is very close.” Phil whispered with an awkward giggle.

Dan rolled his eyes but couldn’t help chuckling himself. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Phil said seriously, all hints of joking gone.

“I’ll carry the burden along with you of unfairly feeling bittersweet about what choices we have to make to have a family. Or,” he said in a quieter voice, “we can adopt all of our children if that’s what you really want. We can donate to all the charities for kids without families every year. I’ll do anything you want to do, Phil. I’m here for you. I’ll love any family you give me.” 

The tears came back with a vengeance as Phil broke down into quiet sobs. He pulled Dan close and buried his face into Dan’s chest. 

“I love you so much.” Phil hiccupped after awhile. Dan just nodded and squeezed him tighter. They were a mess and it wasn’t even noon yet. 

The air felt lighter, and the sun felt warmer as they stretched all of the way awake and got dressed. There were calls to make and forms to submit. There was a family to make. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and let me know what you think!!!
> 
> Obviously I don't think there's a wrong way to start a loving family. I just think having to make these kinds of decisions is interesting... And I have mostly written them adopting in all of my parentphan fics so far so I decided I'd mix it up!
> 
> Thanks!!  
> [Here's my Tumblr!](https://tortitabby.tumblr.com/)  
> and if you'd like to reblog it I would be forever grateful  
>  and you can do so [ right here! ](https://tortitabby.tumblr.com/post/182115507710/im-with-you)


End file.
